


Once Stung, Twice Shy

by wasthatafanfic



Series: Ontological Inertia [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Body Horror, Double mutated, Episode: s01e23 Parasitica, Parasitica
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-03-24 14:49:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13813449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasthatafanfic/pseuds/wasthatafanfic
Summary: A Krang lab, a sharp pain, and an unshakable obsession that would have destroyed him and his brothers if it hadn't been for Michelangelo's endurance.But Mikey succeeded in curing them all of the wasps venom and Leo, mostly, puts it out of his mind.With a hectic few months under their belt Leo isn't surprised when he starts to feel under the weather, but that 'under the weather' feeling becomes something much more worrisome and Leo finds himself facing some unexpected changes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Donatello mentioned how weird the wasps mutation was in Parasitica, what if that had unexpected long term effects on the victim of its sting?
> 
> *Mentions of blood and throwing up*

Life over the last few months in the Hamato household had been, in a word, hectic.

Since their first solo mission they couldn't seem to get through a week without  _something_ happening. The last couple weeks even more so. 

Losing the mutagen canisters across the city had been a huge blow to all their egos. The accidental mutation of April's dad and her subsequent refusal to talk to them sure hadn't helped and had sent Donnie into a mad scramble to find a cure for Kirby O'neil.

Things had sure been a stressful and emotional whirlwind and it had taken its toll on all of them. 

So Leo wasn't surprised when he started to feel under the weather and wrote it off as the stress, and continued to write it off as the days and weeks passed and they added to their plate Squirrelanoids, Footbots, and their most recent adventure with the mutated Timothy going after the absolutely done with them April.

There was going to be no writing off this time though, the 'under the weather' feelin had evolved into something different and disturbingly familiar, bringing back uncomfortable memories of a krang lab, a sharp pain, and an unshakable obsession that would have destroyed him and his brothers if it hadn't been for Michaelangelo's endurance. 

His stomach was in knots, a dull throbbing at the base of his skull made him irritable and distracted, and a steady ache had settled over his whole body. 

The feeling was disturbingly familiar and sent a sharp bolt of panic through Leonardo.

Hand unconsciously pawing at his left bicep searching for a wound now long healed as he stumbled from his bedroom, past Raph and Mikey playing pinball in the living room, and into Donatello's lab.

The purple masked turtle had his back to the door and head low buried in whatever his latest project was.

"Donnie you got a minute?"

The pain pulsed in his brain and he shook his head trying to clear it as Donnie failed to look up.

"Not really I've kind of got my hands full at the moment."

Annoyed as he stumbled over to his brother's side his tone became more pointed.

"It's kind of important…"

 Donnie shooed him off, still not looking up from his work.

"Just a second! I'm almost done."

Leonardo's temper flared unexpectedly and before he could stop himself both hands had slammed onto the table and he was roaring out.

"DONNIE LOOK AT ME!"

The reaction was instant, Donatello yanking up out of his project with the look of surprise, spanner clattering to the ground from his hand, the noise covering the curse  that slipped out as his eyes widened further in shocke as he met Leonardo's gaze.

"Leo… your  **eyes**."

Pupil, iris, sclera all were an onyx black blinking back at him in confusion as Donatello yanked him by the arm to the closest available chair.

"W-what's wrong with my eyes?!"

He had a suspicion he knew what it was but prayed he was wrong. Donatello froze mid reach for a pinlight and gave him a disbelieving look.

"That's  **not** what you came in here about?!"

"Nnnooo? I came in here because I woke up feeling sick, but not a normal sick, and my head feels all weird like when…"

"Like when you were stung by that parasitic wasp?"

Donatello finished, handing over a mirror so he could see for himself and tilting Leo's head back to shine the penlight in his eye. Leonardo didn't struggle, just flinched as the brightness assaulted his vision and stared at his reflection in disbelief.

"But -I'm not- I haven't- we were cured! it's been weeks! Mikey saved us! What the shell is happening to me?!"

The mirror was taken away and a thermometer was popped into his mouth, a thick finger finding a vein in the crook of his arm is Donnie watching a timer on his phone.

"I'm sorry Leo, I just don't know. You're not acting crazy like you were when this happened before, or talking in that creepy 'We Are Legion' voice. Mikey made that antivenom perfectly, I checked all of us! But we'll figure out whats going on, I promise."

Leonardo nodded, the words honestly comforting, but then those knots in his stomach started to twist and rise up as bile at the back of his throat and he had barely enough warning to shove Donatello aside and bolt to the lab sink and re-discover his last meal.

Donatello rubbed soothing circles along his brothers shell as Leo was sick, his mind racing over what this all could mean. "Welp, at least your eyes have gone back to normal." he offered a reassuring pat as Leonardo gave a sarcastic 'yaaay'

"Let's get you back to bed."

Leo nodded as he rinsed his mouth out with sink water and let his younger brother lead him out of the lab. Donnie snagging a sterile syringe as they went. At Leo's flinch he shot back an apologetic look.

"I'll be quick I swear, but it's the best way to figure out what's going on… Um, maybe we should get Raph and Mikey to keep an eye on you… Just in case." Donatella looked embarrassed at making the suggestion. 

But Leo couldn't fault him for the concern, not after last time, and grumbled "Hopefully I won't bite anybody."

The Scandalized look Donnie gave him was enough to draw out a weak laugh as he was lead to bed. 

* * *

The dull throb had turned into a proper migraine and aches turned to a creeping crawling pain. Raphael and Michelangelo did end up keeping watch. Partially to make sure he was okay, and partially make sure there were no repeats of previous incidents.

 Master Splinter came in and out. Bringing broth for Leo to try and keep down or cooling his  fevered brow with a damp cloth. But mostly he sat by his son's side, humming soothing songs just as he had from the time his children were young.

Sometime between far too late to still be up and ridiculously too early to wake up again Splinter was shocked from his vigil by a pained cry.

 Leonardo had been huddled under his blanket fast at sleep but now as quickly but gently as the rodent ninja master could handle, he yanked that blanket away to find his son face down on the bed, curled in on himself shuddering with pain.

"My son! What is happening? Where does it hurt?"

Leo bit back another cry of pain by burying his face into the pillow before moaning something that it took a moment for Splinter to understand.

His shell, it was hurting under his shell.

A barked order for Michaelangelo to retrieve his brother as Splinter set a gentle hand to his son's shell, yanking it back instantly at the fevered heat radiating off it. Raphael's words came from his side, sounding surprisingly small.

"Father is- is Leo gonna be okay?"

Before Splinter could even think to answer, an even more desperate cry tore it's way from Leonardo and a sickly wet * _splack_ * sound invaded their ears as something tore from beneath the young ninja's shell. 

Two pairs of membranous wings exploded from his sides in a splash of blood and ichor, splattering across the bed sheets. Thin translucent membranes spidered with glowing green veins, forewings larger than the hind ones. They extended from somewhere under his shell just behind his shoulders and twitched into the cool air as they dried, shimmering in the low light. 

Leonardo gasped desperate breaths as the pain finally began to recede to a more bearable level, though his sides were still burning and bruised feeling. He slowly, carefully, pushed himself up to his knees, entire body shivering from the shock and exertion. 

The silence stretched on an uncomfortably long time 'til finally with black eyes shinning he turned to his father and brother and weakly asked 

"W-what just happened?"

 

* * *

 

With Leonardo's bed stained with what Splinter had decided to think of as 'unpleasantness' Leo had been understanably unwilling to remain there. And with him still showing no signs of obsession or aggression, Splinter and Raphael had helped him move to the couch, a blanket wrapped around his shivering frame and cup of tea in hand. 

Splinter suspected his son was suffering from mild shock from the physial trauma he'd just underwent.

Leonardo kept the blanket tugged close to himself, it felt uncomfortable rubbing against the newly formed wings but the idea of them being visible to his family was even less appealing. He sipped his tea almost mechanically as Master Splinter and Michaelangelo cleaned the mess he'd left in his room, a task he didn't envy them and felt more then a little guilty about. Raphael was still keeping an eye on him, but seemed much more relaxed about it. Seeming to have decided if he wasn't going to attack anyone after what had just happened he probably wasn't gonna snap anytime soon. Donatello had rushed in, checked Leo over, and dissapeared into his lab again, they hadn't heard anything out of him yet.

Raph side eyed him and Leo was sure his eyes had blacked out again.

"How you holdin up fearless?" The red masked turtle asked, trying to keep the worry from his voice and only slightly failing.

He shrugged noncommitally, not looking up from his tea cup, and trying to hide his discomfort as one of the new wings was pulled uncomfortably by the action. They were still flared out trying to dry and folded around his sides by the blanket. A part of him hoped he wasn't doing any damage, another part of him sort of hoped he did.

"You know it's gonna be okay right? The resident genius is gonna come burstin outta his lab any minute now with some genius cure to fix everything and some long winded explanation about the genius way he figured it out." he glanced over again, catching the tiny smile that crept onto his brothers face "And hey, if HE can't figure it out, we can always get Mikey to fix ya up!"

Leo snorted a laugh and Raphael was just chalking it up as a win till Leo flinched and rubbed at his cheek with a pained expression and sat a bit straighter eyeing his older brother.

"Leo? Whats wrong?"

He wasn't sure what to say and settled for shaking his head as he continued to rub at his suddenly sore, swollen feeling cheeks. Praying silently this wasn't something else happening to him.

"They jus' feel weird all of a sudden." he muttered, realising his words sounded like his cheeks were stuffed with cotton "dun wanna look."  At least the ache didn't seem to be worsening the way things had earlier.

Raphael considered for a moment. Glancing first toward the lab then toward Leo's bedroom, and finally scootched to his brothers side dragging the garbage bucket theyd left nearby closer with his foot as he went just in case.

With a stern order of "Don't. Bite. Me." he motioned for Leo to open wide and the blue masked turtle complied with a huff and allowed him to peak inside.

A moment of inspection and his eyes widened as he jerked back with a "NOPE!" and shot off the couch, not even waiting long enough for Leo to question what he'd just seen before darting off toward Leo's bedroom with an order thrown over his shoulder not to move from the couch while he got their father.

It occured to Leo that getting Donatello may have been the better choice in this particular situation, but couldn't fault the turtle for slipping over to "Somethings wrong dad'll fix it" mindset. He didn't have much more time to ponder as a wave of nausea surged up and he was suddenly very VERY glad Raph had thought to move the bucket closer.

As leo counted himself lucky that both Mikey and their father had insisted he ate despite the nausea, because now he at least he had something to throw up, he completely missed the sound of the lab door sliding open or the pointedly noisey footsteps that made their way toward him.

He didn't notice that he was no longer alone in the main room till a hand comfortingly patted his shell, making him jump, wings trying to flare out, but as they were still pinned under the blanket were only able to yank themselves painfully.

"Ach! sorry." Donatello pulled back from where he'd leaned over the back of the couch, looking nervous and apologetic.

Leonardo waved the concern off with an " 'S okay." The discomfort in his mouth had grown worse after the bout of illness, making it even more uncomfortable to talk.

Donatello caught the pained expression, and with a worried one of his own vaulted the couch to plunck down at his brother's side. He didn't even get a chance to ask the requisite how are you doing when Leo put forward his own burning inquiry.

" Di' you figure out wha's happeni' to me?" 

Donnie didn't even have a chance to stutter out the beginings of an explanation when Master Splinter and Michaelangelo rushed in, Mikey charging so fast he couldn't break enough to avoid the couch and flipped over it instead.

"Leo! Raph said somethin was happenin again bro you ok!?"

The brother in question was following behind at a much slower pace, looking even more concerned then ever.

"What does he mean? Did something else start changing?" Donatello started attempting to pull the blanket off to get a better look at him but was batted off.

" 'S my mouf, Raph looked but he ran away 'fore he said wha' was up."

The red masked turtle looked appropriately embarassed and was just short of hiding behind their father, offering up a weak "Sorry..."

"Oh ew is that blood in your puke!?"  Mikey had darted to Leo's other side but was giving the bucket a queesy look, the statement drawing even more concern from the rest of the family and prompting Donatello to bark orders to open up and let him see what was going on.

That pinlight made a reappearance as well as a tongue depressor and there was a tense moment of silence as he inspected the insides of Leo's pained cheeks. It made his jaw ache forcing it this wide right now and now that Mikey had brought it up he realised there was definetely a faint taste of nickel.

"Wha' i' i' ?" leo asked around the popsicle stick, worry mounting ever higher as donnie clucked in concern.

"At a guess?" Donnie answered at length. "Mandibles."

"WHAT?!?!" 

It wasn't entirely clear who was more likely to throw up next, Leo or Raph.

"We'll know for sure soon enough but that's what it looks like for now."

Leonardo again felt a comforting hand on his shell and looked up to his father's reassuring face as the wise rat prompted.

"Donatello, have you found the cause of your brothers distress?"

With all attention now on him, Donatello began to look nervous again, fidgeting slightly under their gaze.

"Uh... yeah... I,um I think I figured out whats going on."

The pause stretched into a moment and edged toward awkward until finally it was Raph who broke.

"OUT WITH IT ALREADY!"

Well at least the unprovoked burst of aggression from the red turtle was a nice return to normal.

Donatello sighed as he began to explain

"This definetely has to do with the parasitic wasp we fought a few months ago-"

A distressed whimper interupted him as Mikey whined "Is this my fault? Did I screw up the antivenom stuff?! I'm so sorry Leo!!!"

He all but collapsed on Leo begging for forgiveness but Splinter dragged him back off as Donnie waved a hand dismissively.

"Nonono, the antivenom was perfect, you did a great job on it I swear." He held up a hand to stem the next round of ineruptions. "But I was so worried about making sure we were all cleared of the wasps virus I didn't look for anything else. The Wasp - I don't know what the krang did different but the mutagen in its system was still active, including in its stinger. Something about the antivirus curbed the course of the mutation that started when you were stung."

"So- Leo got like - double mutated?" Mikey was still being kept from attack snuggling Leo by their father.

"Is still in the process of, but yes..." Donatello shot leo another apologetic glance "If- if I'd figured it out earlier-  _maybe_  we could have kept dosing you with antivenom or something similar to keep the changes at bay- but at this point in the process it'd just make you feel sicker then you already do."

"So what are we gonna have to do to fix it?" Mikey was leaning over the back of the couch now looking ready to jump at whatever instructions his brother offered up.

Donnie opened his mouth but closed it again and as he hung his head the bottom dropped out of Leo's stomach.

"Donnie, come on,  w-what do you need? I'm sure we can get our hands on whatever yo..."

Raph let his words trail off as Donnie sadly shook his head.

"What about the retromutagen you're makin for Aprils dad?"

"Wouldn't work. We're mutants to start with it'd just turn him back into a normal turtle."

"You couldn't make it just take out the bug stuff?"

"Mutation just doesn't work that way, it'd be all or nothing."

"Well maybe-"

As his siblings continued, their voices seemed to fade away, like Leo was listening to them from the other end of a long tunnel, the only thing he seemed to be able to hear clearly was his own heart pounding in his ears as the shock sunk in.

It was getting hard to breath, each one coming short and sharp, darkness edging at his vision as the thudding grew louder.

"I'm stuck like this?" He barely realised he'd actually spoke aloud and the words were hardly even a whisper but it brought all conversation to a screeching halt.

"I'M STUCK LIKE THIS?!"

Suddenly he was standing, stumbling back from the couch with wings flared. All eyes were on him and his head was spinning, their expansive home suddenly feeling far too confining. 

"My son-" Splinter moved like he was going to come closer, but Leonardo stumbled farther away

"I ca- I can't breath - I-"

Suddenly he was moving, over the turnstiles, out of the lair, his families calls fading farther and farther away as he ran blindly into the sewers, wings thrumming to life to lend him even more speed.

* * *

He wasn't really sure how much time had passed.

Eventually in one of the larger areas he'd hidden himself up on some pipes to have a proper break down in peace as he started to calm down a tiny bit, hitching sobs settling back to semi steady breaths, he realized there was a dull light shining up from below him, and once he'd noticed that he also became aware of the distant clacking of a phone.

Peeking over the edge he discovered Donnie, casually seated against the tunnel wall, playing on his tphone. 

The purple masked turtle glanced up, gave him a wave, and went back to whatever he'd been doing to pass the time.

Leo stared down at his brother for a moment, wiping the tears from his face, before shakily calling out "...Donnie?" He flinched as soon as he spoke, the sore and swollen feeling still strong like someone was steadily stuffing more and more cotton balls into his cheeks.

Donatello didn't seem at all bothered by the current set up though and simply shifted so he could more comfortably look straight up.

"Yeah Leo?"

"Wha' a'e you doi'?"

Donnie shrugged "Wanted to make sure you were okay." He paused as if considering, "Well, as okay as you can be, given the circumstances."

He wasn't sure what to say to that and another moment of silence passed by before he heard Donatello speak up again.

"So... can I come up?"

He was tempted to say no, to tell him to leave and never come back and just let him rot there. But instead he found himself sighing deeply, huddling a little bit more in on himself with his knee's tucked tight to his chest, and muttering a quiet  "yeah." 

It only took a few quick leaps for him to reach Leo's hiding place, Leo feeling infinitely grateful when his brother positioned himself at the far side to give him some space.

"I brought some pain relievers and a water bottle, they should help at least a little bit." Donatello offered the pills and water up, keeping his distance but making it obvious it was for Leo's comfort and not any misgivings of his own.

He downed the pills in one quick gulp, forcing them past the swelling in his cheeks, and hoped they'd start working quick. The rest of the bottle was drained just as quickly in an attempt to chase away the lingering gross taste in his mouth.

Donatello just waited patiently, swinging his legs absently over the side as Leo slowly relaxed. Resting his shell against the concrete wall and bringing his knees down from his chest.

"I'm sorry..."

Donatello was staring at his hands folded in his lap " I should've noticed after you first got stung...Maybe we coulda figured out a way to, I dunno, make this take longer? or minimize the effects somehow or at least given you a heads up that something was gonna happen and I shouldn't have had us go into that stupid TCRI lab and you never would have got stung in the first place and -"

He was surprised to be cut off by a sudden hug, a slight buzz acompanying the action.  

"No'e of thi' i' your fau' Donnie, stop freaking ou'. "

Donatello gratefully returned the hug, careful to avoid the new wings, and a thought occured to him.

"You know you can fold those, right?"

"What?"

"Your wings, wasps wings can fold down flat against their backs, you should be able to do that too."

Leonardo gave him a confused look, then shot that look over his shoulder at the iridescent veined wings that he'd honestly been doing everything in his power to ignore, and back to his brother again.

"Won' my shell ge' in the way?"

He shrugged "One way to find out."

Seemed worth it, Leo focused on the newly formed wings that he'd been keeping as far out from his body as possible, trying to pretend they weren't a part of him. He finally considered how they felt now, the fact that they didn't add much in weight and somehow keeping them held out like this felt strangely similar to tensing his shoulders up. 

So he let that feeling relax, let the tenseness fade and fall and as he did the wings dropped down as well, top folding over bottom and then tucking under the edges of his shell 

"Huh, they're completely hidden, it looks like when that part of the mutation happened it made some kind of ... cavity? for them to tuck into. Handy."

Leo twisted, trying to see for himself but having to trust Donnies word on it.

"They're gone? like gone gone?"

"Like if I hadn't seen them already I wouldn't know they were there."

That drew a huge sigh of relief, the idea of being able to HIDE some of these new features removing at least some of the weight of his worries.

Leo went to say something but his jaw gave a sharp crack that left them both wide eyed.

No further changes came - or at least not yet - and Leo let out a groan burying his face in his hands. 

"I don' know how much mo'e of this I can take Donnie."

"Well if it's any consolation, the results I got off your bloodwork indicated it should be almost done soon. so...good news?"

"No' fas' enou- AH!" Leonardo almost fell off the pipe from the sudden shock of pain but Donatello grabbed him and held him tight as the latest transformation left him spasming. Pain arching through his neck and jaw as-

_*snap*stretch*pop*_

Agony arched through his neck and jaw as something irrevocably changed inside him. There was the taste of blood again that left him gagging as something pushed its way from his mouth settling to either side of his lips and chittering out his agony. 

Donatello clung to him, ignoring the warm wet feeling on his shell he was sure was spit up blood and muttering a frantic mantra of "itsokayitsokayitsokay" that was honestly the only thing grounding either of them right now.

A final cough and he stilled, panting desperately, feeling spent beyond exhaustion.

They sat in silence for a moment, regaining their bearings, each silently praying that this, finally, was the end of it.

Steeling himself, Donatello broke the stillness.

"Leo?" He gently pushed his brother away so he could get a proper look at whatever had happened now "You okay?"

Leonardo swayed as he took on all his own weight again, looking worn and battered. The wings had flicked out from their hiding spot again; not held out stiffly, but loose and angled down, probably helping with his balance.  Black eyes were half lidded as he struggled to remain alert, and glimmering mandibles now rested at either side of his mouth. They clicked as he blinked and shook himself back to wakefulness.

Everything felt sore and his body was now alien and wrong to him, but there was no longer an immediate source of discomfort or pain so that was an improvement at least and he settled on answering.

" _ **I-I think so?**_ " 

He flinched as soon as he spoke, his voice having taken on the strange, echoing, many voiced quality it'd had with the initial infection.

Donatello didn't seem at all bothered by the change though, only looking him over with the critical eye of a concerned sibling.

" _ **I think I got blood on your shell...**_ " 

Donatello shrugged, "It's okay, guess who's helpin me clean it off later!" He shot the disoriented turtlebug finger guns and only served to deepen his confusion.

" _ **How are you so calm right now? I'm only not freaking out cause I'm exhausted.**_ "

Another shrug, this time accompanied by a little smirk.

"I am freaking out so hard right now, but I've got a lot more experience with anxiety so it's all buried wwaayyyyy down 'til you're better!" Yeah wow, that came out way too chipper.

" _ **That can not be healthy**_."

"Meh. Hey, totally called the mandibles...sorry, was hopeing to be wrong on that one." 

Leo wasn't sure how to react to that one, honestly he wasn't sure how to react to any of this and was to tired and bruised to even start sorting it out. An anxious noise bubbled up from his chest in a rolling chitter an it made him shudder, the foreign noise making the unsteady dysphoria threatening to well up all the more palpable.

They gave it a bit, making sure no other changes were imminent before heading back. While exhausted, the pain seemed to be fading, agonizingly slowly but it was there, and no new discomforts were growing to replace the last so that seemed like a good sign.

Donnie hopped down first, ready in case Leo couldn't make the jump, but beyond a slight stumble on the landing that left his wings thrumming, he managed it.

He leaned heavily on Donnie as they went, too tired and achey to keep his feet under him on the walk home.

Raphael and Michelangelo were at the end of the next junction waiting for them apprehensively. Donnie huffed that he'd told them to wait at home but there was no heat in it and next thing they knew there was a brother under each arm not just Donatello. Mikey beating Raph to the punch only by being closer when they emerged, and they helped their thoroughly traumatized brother limp home to their worried father and an unsteady tomorrow. 

[[Wasp!leo by Rhi-Draws-Things](https://turtle-trash.tumblr.com/post/171714167959/two-commissions-for-buttons-n-bobbin-one-of-a)]


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s only one thing that could make this mess worse, at least in Leonardo's opinion.

"Wait, no, Sensei you can't be serious."

Leonardo stood in the door of the dojo, staring up at Splinter's unmoving form that was blocking his way.

"My son, you have just been through a very traumatic experience and need time to rest and recover. Training can wait while you regain your strength.

"But.. Father-!"

Appealing to him as a parent over teacher didn't help and Splinter gently cut him off.

"I'm afraid my decision is final," He lightly turned his eldest son by the shoulder and started leading him away from the dojo and back to the kitchen. "And you have not yet had breakfast."

He was trying very hard not to pout, but he had no practice schooling his new features. Onyx eyes lidded, wings hung limp just outside his shell, trying very hard not to let the protrusions to either side of his mouth clack the way they wanted.

Mikey was in his own little world bouncing around the kitchen making breakast with headphones on, completely oblivious to father and sibling.

Leo slumped onto a stool and put his chin onto the table with his arms crossed before it, trying not to flinch as the mandibles that now rested to either side of his mouth touched his inner elbow. Master Splinter retreived a cup of tea for himself and gave his son's back a reassuring pat.

"It will not be for long, I promise." 

"Mmmnn."

He gave up on trying to hide his pout and his wings jerked the rest of the way under his shell as he stared testily at the opposite wall. Grumbling to himself, trying to stall a melodic and vaguely ominous sounding rolling chittering noise that it was taking a good bit of his concentration to keep muffled but couldn't seem to stop completely.

"What the shell is that clicky noise?"

"Leo's mad."

So maybe Mikey wasn't as in his own world as Leo had thought.

Raph gave him a confused look as Leo bit his lip trying even harder to make the noise stop.

"You click now?"

"Apparently."

His terse words were muffled by his arms still hiding half his face.

Michaelangelo continued to dance about the kitchen cheerily dropping a plate in front of both his brothers, the third slipped into the oven to stay warm 'til Donnie arrived, and the final plate already being dug into as he bounced onto the stool across from Leo and Raph talking through a mouthful of eggs.

"Sounds like a cicada, it's pretty."

"You're kidding me." Leo stared at his youngest brother like he had a screw loose. "It's gross and annoying and I can't figure out how not to do it. It sucks."

"Well now you're just being dramatic." 

Leo's black eyed glare turned to Raph now, who met it with an unimpressed expression and a casual sip of orange juice as he pointed out.

"Your eggs are gonna get cold."

He stared at the plate before him, stomach growling. But then the mandibles twitched, ready to pull the food into his mouth and his hunger turned to nausea.

"Not hungry."

"Dude, you haven't eaten in like three days, you gotta eat something."

It was true, he'd thrown up everything he'd eaten just before the worst of his mutation had started and slept over a day and a half once it had finished. Honestly he was starving but the idea of having to deal with how different the act might feel put him completely off.

Raph nudged the plate toward him and he nudged it away again with his elbow.

Michelangelo looked downright insulted and crawled half across the island countertop, snagging Leo's fork from his food, and held it in front of his brother

"Nuh uh you gotta eat bro, even if I gotta help you!"

He poked the fork at Leo's arm then angled it over them to his tightly closed mouth still trying to cajole him into eating. 

Then he poked one of the mandibles and Leo screeched shoving Mikey away and shouting in a voice that wasn't his

" _ **Back OFF Mikey!**_ "

Mikey froze, Raph stared, and Leo slapped both hands over his mouth.

"Ummm, and why is Leo shouting with the evil voice?" Donnie had finally made it to breakfast and was taking in the scene with a mix of confusion and concern. But the intense atmosphere was already dropping away and somehow that bugged Leo even more as Raph shrugged and summed the situation up with 

"Sensei broke the news and now he's not eating."

Donatello shot him a dissapointed look.

"You need to eat, you haven't had any real food in a good-"

"I know! - I know. I - I think i'm just gonna eat in my room. You guys better hurry so you're not late to practice."

In a frustrated huff he snatched the fork away from his brother and stalked out with plate in hand, All three brothers flinching as a bedroom door slammed.

Donnie shook his head.

"It's nice starting training a bit late but I don't think this is going to help Leo at all."

Raphael nodded "I give it two days."

The purple masked turte snorted "I doubt it'll make it 'til dinner."

Their youngest sibling didn't join in on the commentary, slowly finishing his meal with a concerned frown.

* * *

Leonardo didn't feel any better once he was alone in the comfort of his bedroom, but not having an audience made it mildly easier to force down the growing dysphoria feeling the alien projections from his jaw that twitched and shifted. It was all he could do to force his meal down faster then he could register the wrongness of the appendages flexing and grabbing at the food moving it into his mouth. But he managed it and the scrambled eggs and toast made his head swim just a little less. 

But now with hunger sated and fully rested his head was finally clear enough to think and turned a hyper focus on the way his body ached and the faint twitching around his shoulders whenever the wings moved or the twitch shifting around his mouth or how his vision felt the tiniest bit distorted in a way he couldn't explain even to himself. 

He'd never been so relieved not to have a mirror in his room. 

So he paced his room, wings flashing and mandibles clicking in time with his annoyed grumblings.

Being banned from training made him feel like he was banging up against the glass, he was antsy, it was bugging him being pinned down like this. His nerves were all a buzz like he was ready to fly off the handle. Maybe if he winged it he could talk Splinter into at least letting him watch.

Mind made up, and calmed mildly by his own puns, he took a deep breath, focused on the things that still felt right about his body 'til the wings settled and slid back into hiding under his shell, and left his room to ask.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo is trying to skip a second meal in a row, hiding away all day in his room, and Raphael is beyond DONE.

Raphael was surprisingly gentle as he knocked on the closed bedroom door.

"Leo, dinners ready"

When there was no response he knocked harder.

"Yo! Leo! Dinner!"

The door didn't open, but he did hear a bit of grumbling and a call of

"I'm fine, I'll come get it later."

The red masked turtle huffed and upped his polite knocking to outright banging.

"Nuh uh, we ain't doin this shit again, don't think we didn't notice you never came out to get lunch, I've got your dinner right here and I ain't leavin till you get it!"

More grumbling, a decidedly inhuman noise, and a bit of cursing and finally the door inched open just enough for him to see a pitch black eye peeking out and a hand grasping out through the gap.

"Fine, hand it over."

He held the plate just out of reach and used the tiny gap to shoulder his way in to an angry insectoid hiss slipping out of his brother and quickly cut short.

Leo had a blanket pulled tight around his shoulders and up over his head and hands clasped over his mouth, obviously embarrassed by the slip.

"I don't remember saying you could come in."

He groused through his fingers as Raph pointedly ignored him and marched the rest of the way into the room, grabbed a blanket edge to drag him over to his desk, pushing him into the desk chair, plopping the plate onto the desk and himself onto the bed.

"That's why I didn't ask, and I'm not leavin till you're done.

Leo glared from the plate to Raph and back again, but didn't make any move to come out from under the blanket or to eat.

"This is entirely unnecessary."

The look Raph gave him could only be described as _unimpressed_.

"If it was, you'd be half done already just to get rid of me."

"I'm not hungry."

Of course that was when his empty stomach growled, like it was calling him out on his lie.

"Yeah, sure sounds like it. And didn't Donnie say you can hurt your wings havin the blanket like that?"

He had.

At first Leo had tried to keep his wings hidden, them being the only thing he could make appear 'normal'. But It didn't take long to realize keeping them tucked under his shell was incredibly uncomfortable, likening it to having an arm splinted straight and tied to his side. Okay for a few moments but quickly left him feeling squirrely and cramped and he had to give up, allowing them to remain out and angled and flicking as instinct dictated necessary.

Because of that Donatello had warned that if he couldn't keep them under his shell the blanket rubbing against the delicate membranous structures could pull or rub and cause possibly irreversible damage.

Leo huffed, pulled the blanket even tighter about his shoulders (ignoring the slight pain as one was pinched) and put his back to the other turtle, who just barely caught his muttered

"Only if I'm lucky."

Raphael was off the bed and yanking the desk chair around so Leo was facing him.

"No, don't you dare talk like that. You ain't hurtin yourself over this!"

Leo shrunk back, burying farther into the blanket in question as he glared up at the red masked turtle with hands bunched in the fabric to pull it up to hide the mutations at his mouth, and snapped back.

"And what do _you_  care?!"

"What do I care? Seriously!? The shell you mean what do I care, I'm your brother! I'm worried about you! We all are!"

"Yeah, seemed real worried when you took one look at me and _bolted_  yesterday."

Raph paled, Leo's words were absolutely dripping with venom and hit hard, his shoulders dropped and he was caught between guilt and fury.

"I…that wasn't… _I_  wasn't…"

He gulped down the surprise and frustration and worry.  And instead with a deep breath he dragged Leo's chair around so they were still facing as he sat back down on the bed again.

"Look. I freaked out yeah, but it wasn't you an I wasn't runnin from you. You were all hurting and your mouth was all bloody and it was like somethin was cutting its way out of you and I - I kinda panicked."

About halfway through explaining himself his gaze dropped, unable to meet his brothers eye as he admitted his failings.

"Bro, we kinda thought you were dying. I just … I dunno, all I could think was 'get dad he'll fix it.' "

He gave a morose shrug and scuffed a foot across the floor.

"You're seriously trying to tell me none of _this_  is freaking you out."

Raph looked up just in time to see him drop the blanket to motion to his bugginess.

"You literally pop right into your shell at the _mention_  of cockroaches and I have literally turned part bug, that doesn't freak you out?!"

"Of course it's freaking me out!" he admitted throwing his hands up "We watched stuff _explode out of you_! We thought you were dying! And _you're_  freakin out cause all this is happening to you and now you're hidin from us and keep refusing to eat and that's making us all freak out even more!"

He hadn't realized how loud he'd gotten and took a breath before continuing at a more reasonable volume.

"So yeah, you're not freakin me out, the stuff that’s goin on is. You're scarin us dude, and not in a 'I'm scared of bugs' kinda way."

While he'd spoken Leo had folded in on himself, knees pulled up, arms wrapped over top of them, the same protective pose he'd pulled into a few days back when Donatello had chased him down.

He buried his face in his arms.

"I hate this."

"Oh, you're _not_  enjoying having your genetics rewritten and random new appendages growing off you in a matter of hours? I'm shocked go on."

Leo lifted his head just enough to give Raph a 'really?' look

"What? This is a big deal, if this happened to any of us we'd be reacting the same way… well maybe not Mikey but that's cause he's weird."

Leo couldn't help but snort a laugh, and this time Raph did get to chalk it up as a win without anything horrible happening.

They sat there for a moment, just processing and being  _okay_  in each others presence.

Raph's attention drifted past his brother to the rapidly cooling plate still ignored on the desk and worry began to gnaw at him with renewed vigor.

"…ya gotta eat Leo."

Raph half expected an argument, some 'I'm the leader I can take care of myself' bravado maybe. But instead Leo just glanced forlornly over his shoulder at his meal, an insectoid chitter Raph was starting to recognize as Leo being nervous, maybe even scared, and sighed out a sad.

"Yeah, I know."

He'd assumed this was just some mopey self-pity thing but now fear hit him that it could be something else, something more serious.

"You ain't getting sick are ya? Like do ya gotta eat different stuff now? Cause nothin's wrong with that! We can get whatev-"

He cut himself off when Leo started shaking his head.

"No I'm not- I can still eat the same stuff fine…I think. That's not it-"

"So what's up?"

Raph waited, gave his brother time to track down the right words and wrestle them into order, and eventually Leo did manage it.

"It's just… It feels _weird_. Everything does right now, but eating especially. Gross and weird and _wrong_."

Leo was the one staring at the ground now (Raph would wonder later how even with completely black eyes it was still easy to tell where Leo was looking)  and rubbed at his cheek and the alien growths sticking out from the corners of his lips, flinching as they shifted of their own accord.

 "What, do they like, move an stuff?"

Leo blanched but nodded.

"It's like they're trying to drag it into my mouth, and I can _feel_  it" His hand traced back along his jaw toward the back of his head showing where he could feel the new muscles and tendons "Makes me nauseous every time I try and eat something."

The only response Raph could come up with was a monotone

"Ew."

Leo slumped and nodded

"Yeah, ew." He stared off at nothing for a few minutes and slumped a little lower. "I don't want to be one of Don's science experiments."

"You're not gonna be a science project." Raph answered automatically but Leo only huffed

"Yeah I am, I kind of have to…" if he slumped down any farther he was either going to catch his wings on the chair arm or just slide right onto the floor.

Raph considered,

"Well I doubt it's gonna be much worse then the stuff D does to us already. Dudes been trying to figure our stuff out since we were kids anyway, so at least it's not gonna be all that bad. And wouldn't you rather figure the bad stuff out ahead of time before it's first hand? Like remember when we found out about the whole rhubarb thing."

They both shuddered at the memory of the time Mikey had gone on a pie making binge and innocently enough decided to try out rhubarb pie, which at the time they hadn't been aware of being horribly poisonous for turtles and as a result had spent the next few days laid out and puking up their guts.

"I have been trying really _really_  hard not to think about that sort of thing."

"Well good news is you mostly don't gotta cause Donnie's got it handled for you, he's started a whole new notebook on it. Just stick your arm out when he needs blood and he'll figure it out for you."

"Thank you for not making a 'turn your head and cough' joke, I know you wanted to."

"Hey you're feelin down, least I can do."

They laughed, and every little chuckle Raph managed to drag out of Leo seemed to be a step in the right direction, drawing him that little bit farther out of his shell and made it feel a little more likely Leo would make it through this.

"So, what're we gonna do to get you past this whole eatin thing? Cause if you keep skipping meals and hidin in here it's gonna be really hard for us to convince Dad to let you back into the dojo early."

"Bu-but I'm out for at least a week, and he already said no when I tried to talk him out of it…twice."

Raph shrugged as he bounced up from the bed, strolled across the room and casually handed Leo his dinner plate.

"Yeah, but me and Mikey figured if all three of us keep at him arguin your case, an you show 'im you're doin better handlin all this already, we c\an probably wear him down at least a little and get it shortened at least a day or two. But you gotta give us some ammo to work with."

Still staring at Raph in shock Leo unthinkingly plucked up the fork and took a bite. He didn't even seem to notice the extra appendages helping to drag the food off his fork and into his mouth.

"Are you sure? You could get in trouble if you keep bugging him about it."

Another mouthful, Raph leaned back against the desk feeling mildly accomplished.

"Yeah, maybe. But none of us thinks he's right about you needing 'time to recuperate and process what has occurred' " his Splinter impersonation was horrible but that was half the charm. "Way I see it you're not _really_  gonna start figurin stuff out till you've chucked one of us on our shell."

Raph had a point, and keeping himself shut off in his room all day sure hadn't helped anything.

"So wha'd'ya say? Gonna give it a shot?"

The options were pretty obvious, accept the help of his brothers or continue on his current spiral into depression, the choice was obvious as well.

"Yeah…yeah let's give it a shot."

"Good!" He slapped him lovingly on the shell making him cough on his current bite "So you gonna take that empty plate to the sink yourself or you want me to do it?"

Leo shot him a confused look, then almost jumped in surprise when he glanced down at his meal and found it gone. He'd eaten it all without even noticing, without the differences making him feel sick.

"I- I guess I'll take it?"

"Sounds like a plan Oh Fearless Leader. And then if you're up to it, Mikey found some more tapes and has been bitin at the bit to marathon 'em. But he didn't want to start without you."

That * _chkchkchk_ * nervous-bug-noise started up again, but not quiet as intense as it had been previously as Leo mulled it over. Finally he nodded, the sound subsiding as he opened his bedroom door (without dragging anything along to hide under, without even tucking his wings under his shell)

"Yeah Raph, that sounds like fun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fav au's are the ones where Raph and Leo actually talk stuff out can you tell?  
> This certainly helped Leo feel a bit better about things but there's a lot more surprises coming, and not all of them are gonna be good.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Research, Kool-aid, and a return to the dojo

True to his word, Leo was giving it his best shot and was no longer hiding away in his room moping.

It helped that his brothers seemed to have agreed on a bug-joke-embargo, at least while Leo was still adjusting, and that they were following through with attempting to convince Master Splinter to end his ban from the dojo for 'recovery' early. The topic cropping up almost every time he left whatever room happened to contain their father and at least one brother, often with them tag teaming to balance the tightrope of arguing their big brothers case between getting their point across and getting in trouble for badgering him.

At first Leo had assumed he wouldn't crack and continue to hold to his insistence that two weeks was a completely reasonable recovery period to forgo training. But it wasn’t long before he was pleasantly surprised to see his siblings seemed to be steadily wearing their sensei's resolve down.

* * *

Raph had been right, Donatello did already have a journal half filled with observations, notes, and theories all dedicated to figuring out everything they would need to know about Leo's double mutation an all Leo had to do was show up when the purple masked turtle asked and try to not get too weirded out by any new findings.

Having your little brother fuss around you with measuring tape like a personal tailor was less than enjoyable, holding his wings out wide to be measured and being gently nudged into turning that or holding a certain way while he was poked and prodded and sampled.

Thankfully the resident genius had the sense to get most of the more annoyingly invasive sample taking done fast and early when he had less fight in him and was still asleep enough to barely notice.

So far Donatello had been able to document changes to his shell, eyes, mouth, throat, and even his skin.

His shell had of course altered slightly to house the wings that had sprouted from somewhere underneath, around his shoulders. Which turned out there was no easy way to get far enough in to see the actual joints where they connected to him. And a recess that hadn't been there previously developing on either side they sheathed easily into that had Donnie theorizing this was for their safety as well as just being the only way to fit such things on a turtle.

His eyes, blacked out from pupil to sclera and all in between, didn't seem to impact his eyesight or cause any change in light sensitivity. Even though Leo had admitted his vision had felt off ever since the mutation neither could actually pinpoint anything different or wrong so eventually had to let it drop. It was nice that it also didn't seem to make a difference when it came to figuring out what he was looking even if that was weird in itself.

Donatello had some theories about the pincers, but the subject freaked Leo out so much he'd kept them to himself.

By extension he hadn't been able to take much of a look at Leo's throat, but Leo was at least more willing to listen to the theories though he wasn't sure about the purpose behind the way his voice would change to something straight out of a horror movie when he got frustrated enough. So far it'd only popped up a few times, like when Mikey had pushed him too far and a few times when they'd gotten into petty arguments that'd started to turn into proper fights (usually Raph and Mikey but who was keeping track) his patience seemed to be paper thin when it came to them getting hurt. It sure was effective though.

To their surprise his skin seemed to have hardened slightly, Donnie was pretty sure it was the mutagen attempting to combine aspects of an insects exoskeleton with their preexisting mix of human skin and terrapin scales. It increased his durability but was barely noticeable on close inspection much less at a glance.

It boggled his mind how much about him had changed, both in big and little ways, and Leo suspected they'd barely scratched the surface.

* * *

Mornings felt the hardest.

Partially it was because, in the safety of sleep, he kept forgetting what had happened to him. Only for reality to come slamming back down when he woke and was reminded how different everything was, how different _he_ was. Through the press of pillow against pincers and the flick of wings impatient to be free of their protective sheaths under his shell there was no way he could push it all out of his mind.

The other part, loathe as he was to admit it, was that Master Splinter was _right_.  The mutation had completely drained him and even days later he still hadn't recovered completely. So instead of being his usual first-to-rise self he was barely able to drag himself out of bed and stagger to breakfast before his siblings had finished.

Still bleary and shaking off the last of sleep he was greeted with a warm plate of pancakes (Mikey had kindly been keeping to more traditional fair the last couple of days for Leo's benefit) and a fresh cup of tea.

He pawed blindly for the cup, needing that tiny boost to help wake him up the rest of the way, and froze as he took the first sip. Mikey was already apologizing as he noticed that his big brother had overreached and grabbed the wrong one.

But as the orange masked turtle moved to swap their cups. Leo, eyes still wide, tilted it back and downed the whole thing in one go. To his and everyone else's surprise.

"Dude" Mikey sounded somewhere between shocked and impressed "What was that? You _hate_  how I do my tea. "

Leonardo shrugged helplessly, staring at the cup in confusion and licking the lingering taste from his lips.

"I don't know. It just... tasted _really good_  this time?"

He offered the empty cup back sheepishly with a muttered apology.

"I guess it makes sense," Donatello offered from the other side of the table "Mikey's tea _is_  usually mostly sugar"

"And why does that make sense?" Raphael knew his brother enough to nudge a full explanation out of him.

"Well." Donnie began a bit uncertainly, and Leo realized this was another _thing_  "Because nectar, which is essentially sugar water, is the primary diet of, um,  adult … wasps…" Leonardo flinched at the revelation.

Raphael shrugged "Meh, better then turtle being on the menu."

Leo sure couldn't argue with that one.

"Actually it's probably good for you, well better then it was before. although I haven't looked at anything like changes in your metabolism, if nothing else it'll be a benefit just helping to replace all the calories you burned through during the mutation."

Leo considered this newest turn of events. As far as weird changes went, suddenly enjoying super sugary drinks was not the worst possible outcome.

He stared at his own cup of tea, glancing up as Mikey made another for himself, considering.

"Hey Mikey?"

"Yeah bro?"

With a slight blush of embarrassment he slid his cup across the counter toward his baby brother

"Could you- could I have some more? The way you make yours?"

The orange masked turtle lit up, snatching the cup up almost giddily to prepare it _properly_

"Course dude! And I think we got some Kool-Aid somewhere round here, I can make some for later!"

Leo accepted his tea back and drank at a more reasonable pace, actually enjoying the sweetness this time, it filled him with a contented feeling he'd been completely unable to reach on his own the last few days and he was barely even bothered by how his mandibles held onto the cup as he drank.

* * *

Splinter broke.

Four days after he'd made his initial decision he announced that Leo could join them that evening, observing training only, and they would go from there. And Leo was almost _giddy_  at the news.

It didn't last though, because it was like it also announced the end of the bug question embargo as Michelangelo immediately started asking him stuff he had no hope of having any kind of answer to yet about his new physiology, The orange turtle finding his brothers new features fascinating and downright _cool_  and chirping out any random questions that popped into his head that Leo never would have thought to worry over on his own including but not limited too:

So like, can you hold your breath as long now?

Can you hold your breath _longer_?

Will your wings break if you get em wet?

Can you still swim?

You still have the extra eyelid like us right?

Do you have a stinger now?

Is it a secret stinger?

Is it like hidden like your wings?

Are your wings still glowey, lemme see!

Can you like hold stuff with those mouth things?

Are you gonna have to eat different stuff now?

What do wasps even eat?

You're not gonna lay like evil wasp eggs are you?

By evening training all the unanswered, and in some cases downright disturbing questions were making him feel downright neurotic.

He dropped to his knee's on the tatami mat, slumped against his brothers shell with  head in hands, and let out a long suffering groan. Much to Donatello's amusement.

"Please, please tell me there's no chance I'm gonna end up laying evil bug eggs or whatever."

He tried to stifle a snort of laughter and gave his brothers head a reassuring pat.

"There is zero chance you're gonna lay evil wasp eggs I promise. He means well."

Leo had to cut his whine of despair short as Mikey and Raph plopped down as well and training began.

* * *

Just getting to sit in again made him feel infinitely better.

More focused, centered, more like himself.

Well, mostly. Ignoring the fact he had a lot more trouble sitting still, wings constantly flicking anytime his attention shifted and buzzing when he focused on something especially interesting.

Sparring was frustrating to watch. Not only because he couldn't participate but also because a cheap shot would have him chittering up a storm and wings droning threateningly. More then once Splinter needed to pause their matches and then sooth Leo's embarrassment by suggesting it was simply that he wasn't used to controlling these new tells like he was the rest of his features and reminding him he was always welcome to join him in meditation and discussion. The same gentle invitation he'd been making since Leo's metamorphosis, trying not to force him into discussing something he wasn't ready for but wanting him to know a listening ear was ready when he needed it.

Leonardo hadn't meditated since this all had started. At first too focused on the situation at hand and then too embarrassed by his backwards slide. He really doubted he would be able to clear his mind for a good while.

Within another few days and Splinters careful consideration he was allowed to practice again,

Which Leo had hoped would signal a return to normalcy for him. But no such luck. Everything was thrown just a little off by all the changes to his body. Not enough to put him back at square one but more then enough to cause his form to fall just short of the perfection he tended to hold himself to. The prideful ninja found his normally fluid movements jerky and stuttered which frustrated him to no end. Donatello theorizing it was those new insect instincts surfacing and being amplified by stress, which didn't make Leo feel any _less_  stressed, that was for sure.

On the other hand within a few days of beginning to participate in practice again Leonardo may have been physically exhausted, but mentally he was feeling better then he had in almost two weeks, even with the added frustrations. Training was nearly over and Leo was starting to fantasize about the pitcher of kool-aid in the fridge (He was definitely becoming almost as much of a sugar addict as Mikey was, he'd never really cared before one way or the other but now sweet tasted absolutely _amazing_. At least it didn't make him hyper like it did Mikey) as they knelt before their sensei and father.

It had been a good day and splinter had words of praise for all his sons. Michelangelo and Raphael had finally found the proper stance for katas that had been giving them both trouble for ages,  Donatello had finally loosened his firm up enough to make the form they were learning actually make it useful in battle, and Leonardo was ecstatic to hear he'd shown enough progress in his recovery that tomorrow he would be allowed to participate in sparing again.

So when Splinter set Donatello and Michelangelo against each other, the winner to face Raphael after, the jealousy he'd been plagued with was nowhere to be found.

The team bruiser picked up on his sudden good mood instantly and playfully launched into a running commentary critiquing their siblings match and bragging that tomorrow they'd have to show the B-Team how things were really done.

Master Splinter was willing to let a few comments and jokes slide, understanding that this was Raphael's way of encouraging his older brother by building his confidence ahead of coming trials. But the criticisms continued the entire match and by the time Donatello had come out victorious they'd gone right past crossing line and swung around for another pass.

The aged rat considered his students, his children.

Michelangelo looked crushed and embarrassed, Donatello was introspective mentally dissecting the entire match move by move for flaws, Leonardo was caught somewhere between being caught up in enjoying the banter and concern over actually hurting the twos feelings, and as for Raphael…

The red masked turtle was ready and raring for his own match with Donatello, smug confidence absolutely radiating off of him

A single small gesture dismissed Donatello, who joined Michelangelo at the sidelines as Splinter took his place. Now it was Raphael's turn to look confused, gaze going from Sensei to brother and back again, Don only offering a silent shrug.

"Sensei?"

Splinter offered a indifferent shrug of his own offering up in an almost bored tone.

"Since your younger brother's are so  _below_  your abilities it seems only right to offer you a worthy opponent."

Finally the cocky turtle was starting to look nervous, but true to his nature he didn't falter and didn't back down.

"Hajime!"

The fight took longer than expected.

Not because Raphael was any kind of a challenge, but because Splinter was casually leading him into nearly every mistake and misstep he'd criticized his brothers for.

"You must remember, my son -" It didn't take long for the red mask turtles short temper to flare and for Splinter to start goading him into truly reckless attacks, each one met with an off handed strike after being easily deflected.

"There is no room in battle for hubris -" Splinter explained in that calm and level tone that was so at odds with Raphael's furious, desperate huffs as the young turtle took another wild, easily deflected shot.

"Even were a warrior as good as they believed-" the staff snapped out aimed at Raphael's face and Leo saw red

"You leave yourself open to unexpected atta-"

Leonardo hadn't realized he'd moved.

Hadn't noticed how agitated each strike had made him.

Didn't register that the warning, protective, _monstrous_  noise that suddenly filled the dojo had come from  _him._

His mind was only filled with  _ **THREAT DANGER PROTECT**_  and a desperate, instinctive urge to defend his younger brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anybodies interested in some spoilers the answers to Mikey's questions, in order, are as follows:  
> Yes, no, no, yes, yes, no, no, and still no, yes, yes, no, Donnie already told you, no definitely not.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor parenting choices, heart to hearts, and what do you mean you didn't know you could do that?

Leonardo was panicking.

A hand was gripping his wrist, an arm wrapped around his chest, gently but securely keeping him from running. Something he rather desperately wanted to do right now.

"My sons."

Splinters voice was calm and soft as he addressed his three youngest children

"I believe that will be the end of practice for today, you are excused."

Nervous glances were traded, words almost spoken but caught in their throats. Donatello gently led Michelangelo out by the elbow with Raphael trailing after, shooting a supportive look Leonardo's way as he slid the door closed behind him.

There was silence, for a moment, and Leo could only hear his own heart pounding in his ears and the light jitter of his wings trying to escape from under his shell. Tears were starting to sting his eyes and flow down his cheeks and he just wanted to _not be here_ right now.

A deep breath behind him.

In, then out.

His wrist was released, the arm shifting to his chest to join the other one, and a fuzzy chin rested against the top of his head as the restraining hold was turned into a loving hug.

"I am sorry."

Leonardo had been conjuring up all manner of outcomes over what had just happened.

A gentle, almost mournful apology from his father had not been one of them.

He managed a confused noise, since emotion was currently choking off any hope of speech, and his father explained.

"I thought you needed time to process what had occurred at your own pace. I was afraid of pushing you before you were ready, or forcing you to talk about this before you'd had a chance to understand things for yourself. And seeing your brothers working so hard to support you, I felt so proud I did not want to disrupt their efforts and how much it seemed to be helping."

A soft sigh.

"Somehow I thought this would be easier for you, that the sudden change would be less traumatic since it had happened before. I forgot just how young you all were when we were changed. It hadn't occurred to me you wouldn't remember what it was like suddenly becoming mutants, this is all you've ever known. I should have realized that, given you guidance and support from the start instead of waiting for you to seek out my help. I hope you can forgive me for that."

Leo twisted to give him an absolutely bewildered look that would have been humorous if not for the pained undercurrent.

"But I _attacked_  you!" His expression crumpled further as he whimpered out "I'm a monster."

He tried to curl further in on himself. Hands clamping to either side of his mouth, hiding the clicking mandibles that resided there and closing his eyes tight to hide the ominous black.

"No." Splinter bundled the now sobbing teen closer, pulling the boys hands away to hold them in his own.

"You are my son, and nothing will ever change that."

"B-but I-"

_**"You**_ protected your brother. As you always have, and always should. From a fight that should not have happened in the first place."

Leo managed another confused look and Splinter gave a remorseful laugh as he elaborated.

"You are not the only one I owe an apology to today. When your brothers pride gets away from him he- reminds me a bit too much of my younger self. And sadly, we sometimes repeat our parents mistakes. Your grandfather goaded me into a similar fight as a young man to knock some sense into me as well."

He considered the memory.

"I seem to recall it not working then either, now that I think about it."

Even with his breath still hitching, that comment managed to draw out a small laugh. Splinter smiled warmly down at him, glad to see he seemed to be calming.

"Let me tell you from my own experience that suddenly having an entirely new species instincts to contend with is no easy task. My learning curve was - rather steep."

Leonardo's breathing had finally settled, he'd relaxed enough to snuggle into Splinters robe, and while his eyes were puffy and his face wet tears were no longer falling as he listened.

"You are dealing with your own much better then I did at the start. But what you felt, it was not wrong. Just - still a bit intense. I made the mistake when first changed of smothering them completely, but just like the ones you've had all your life they are there to help you, to keep you healthy, and safe as well as those you care about. You just need more time and practice to better handle them."

Leonardo let out a resigned sigh.

"I guess I'm on a break from training again then?"

Ah, the priorities of an overachiever.

"No, prohibiting you from training was another of my mistakes. If you wish we may also add some additional training, just you and I, to focus on honing your new skills."

Now that suggestion made him perk _right_ up.

* * *

After a long heart to heart talk they finally emerged from the dojo.

Met immediately by three turtles who weren't even bothering to pretend they hadn't been waiting anxiously for him the whole time, just short of outright eavesdropping.

"Raphael, may I speak to you for a moment?"

The red masked turtle shot his sibling a _very_  concerned look as they traded places, Leo shooting back a thumbs up to try and tell him it was a good thing, Raph not looking so sure as the door slid closed again.

"Soooo…?"

Donnie started to prompt an explanation only to be cut off by a flood of questions from the barely-keeping-it-contained Mikey.

"Are you okay? Are you in trouble? Is _Raph_ in trouble? You guys were in there for _ages_  what'd you talk about? You didn't get lectured the whole time did you? What-?!"

A hand slapped over the mile-a-minute-mouth as Donatello dragged him out of Leo's face and glared him down, daring him to start up again as he demanded of his over-hyper baby brother.

"Do you ever breath!?"

He couldn't help but burst out laughing at the sight they made, and that bit of mirth was enough to let them know they could relax.

Mikey yanked Donatello's hand away enough to get out "So what happened?" before it clamped into place again, both waiting for his reply.

* * *

"-And dad said he'd talk to you guys later on too, I think because he let Raph's teasing get so out of hand."

There was a certain shock brought on by a parental figure that they'd collectively placed on a pedestal over the course of their lives apologizing _and_  admitting to not one but _multiple_  mistakes _and_ had every intention of fixing them, and as Leonardo finished summing up what had been discussed behind the closed dojo doors both sibling where staring at him with surprised expressions.

"So nobodies in trouble." Michelangelo clarified.

"Nobodies in trouble…except dad a little maybe? But none of us are in trouble."

The orange turtle gave an overdramatic *PHEW* and flopped back onto the concrete.

"Good, you had us super worried there for a minute dude."

"Yeah, that was…unexpected. How are you feeling?"

Donatello was looking him over with a critical eye, obviously still gauging if this had just been an overreaction or something they actually had to worry about.

"Better. Embarrassed, but better."

"You look it, I think that helped a lot. Your eyes-"

"Oh no what's going on with them now."

Donnie gave him an amused look and waved off the concern.

"Nothing, they're normal again. Do they feel any different?"

Well that was an exciting turn of events, Leo touch his face and resisted the urge to rush to the nearest reflective surface, knowing his brother wouldn't lie about something like that.

"Not that I noticed? They're really back to normal?"

"Yep, blue just like always, I bet it's tied at least partially to stress. That whole thing might have been just the catharsis you needed to finally calm down enough for it to switch back. Speaking of which, No lingering aggression?"

Relief flooded him at the tiny return to normalcy and he gave a quick shake of his head.

"No, that went as fast as it happened. Like one second I was so absolutely sure Raph was in this big huge danger and then soon as it caught up that he wasn't it was all just - gone. Any idea why I lost it?"

Donnie had obviously been considering exactly that since they'd been excused from training.

"Well, when you were first infected with the wasps venom the whole point of it was to ensure a food source and protector for its egg, and wasps are usually pretty territorial to begin with."

Leonardo shuddered, not liking how this was going.

"So I'm gonna go nuts again?"

"No, no that’s not what I'm saying at all. I think it - " He took a moment to get the words just right. "I think that territorial protectiveness just found a new focus, zeroed in on something you were _already_ protective of."

"Yeah dude," Mikey chirped from where he was still flopped on the concrete, legs dangling over the edge that dropped off toward the drainage pool. "You've been like super snappy lately if any of us start fightin' or arguin' 'n stuff."

"I think it's more something we just need to keep tabs on then actually be worried about."

Well that was a relief at least.

"It was kinda cool though, you're like a superhero!"

Leo gave his baby brother an incredulous look.

"I attacked our father like a feral animal, how could you possibly interpret that as me being a superhero."

"Naw, see, you were like swooping in to save the helpless citizen!"

Mikey was too excited by his explanation to react to Donnie's mutter of "I _dare_  you to say that to Raph's face." as he pushed through with the rest.

"And you fly now! So totally a superhero! Oh oh can I be your sidekick!? Turflytle aaaannd -"

"Don't you _dare_ try to give me a new name."

"Awww but I was gonna pick something super cool!"

Michelangelo flopped back again to sulk as Leo scoffed holding his ground.

"No names, and I didn't fly that’s just ridiculo-"

He turned to Donnie for backup but came up short, his brother was not sharing his amused expression, and was staring at him with that blank 'you've got to be kidding me' face he got when one of them was missing something obvious.

"Did too! It was so cool you went like-" He motioned straight up then angling down imitating the buzzing noise.

"But that wasn't flying I just- I couldn't-"

The moment, blurred as it was, replayed in his head, and it slowly dawned on him that he had in fact shot up a lot higher then he should have been able to under his own power alone. He turned to Donatello helplessly who offered only a shrug.

"I thought you were avoiding it on purpose cause it was another dysphoria thing, you really didn't realize those things work? That's the second time I've seen you use them."

"Wait, when else did I-"

"The day you first mutated, when you ran off and I followed you? Yeah your feet didn't touch the ground at all from what I saw."

Stunned, Leonardo glanced over his shoulder incredulously at the still foreign appendages. He hadn't thought to even considering that the things were actually _functional._

And yet he'd apparently used them without knowing twice already.

Another concerned glance at his brothers and phosphorescent veined wings blurred into motion, their owner gasping as his feet left the ground and they snapped closed again, dropping him back to earth.

"What was that? You barely hopped!"

Michelangelo was obviously unimpressed with his first intentional venture.

He was going to argue, insist this was all still new to him so he'd need time to figure it out, but before he managed to even open his mouth his bratty baby brother had gotten a wicked gleam in his eye.

"Come on show us what those babies can do!"

With a quick shove he sent Leo off the ledge, a quick drop off to the drainage pool they often used for swimming or an extra entrance.

"What the shell Mikey!"

"Well it worked didn't it? It's like baby birds!"

And loath as Leo was to admitted it the fact that he was currently hovering a good number of feet above the water, still at the same level of his brothers, proved Mikey's off-the-cuff theory did have some truth to it.

"I am not a baby bird." he insisted petulantly, a bit peeved it had worked so well.

"Naw you're _much_ cooler! Like A turtlebug do, bro!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Gotta remember that Splinter's a single dad with zero support that makes mistakes sometimes. but he's trying his best and made the good choice of admitting to and apologizing for making those mistakes and is going to work to fix and avoid making the same ones again.  
> \- Mikey might be a little shit for shoving Leo off the walkway but he's right it got the job done

**Author's Note:**

> I live for comments, questions, and any feedback you might want to leave so don't hesitate I wanna know what you think!


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